Relationships have become more exhausting than exhilarating. Is it just me? When I'm single, I'm prowling for my love. It's costly to my sanity and to my wallet, trying to determine if she likes me--then doing things to make her like me more (and get naked). When I'm in a relationship, I'm juggling texts, dates, her family gatherings, and baseball, doing my best to avoid disappointing my lover.

Do you wonder what life would be like on the other side? When married, how peaceful single life could be. When single, how marriage might cure loneliness. Having been on both sides, I'm unsure which is better. There are great parts of both.

Whether you're male, female, or something in between; whether you're eighteen or eighty or something in between--you're going to relate to the following pages in some way. I guarantee it. I also guarantee I will push your buttons. I'll make you giggle and piss you off. That's intentional. I just hope you're entertained by my relationship disasters. Heck, maybe my mistakes will save you from a similar fate (another pet).

Enjoy the ride, my friends. If you ever see me at my office (a bar), put a hand on my shoulder, share a frosty beverage, and let's steer each other away from the dangerous cliffs of love.