Willkommen, bienvenue and welcome! It's time for the newly launched musical celebration that is the Eurowide Song Contest, debuting in the unglamorous city of Ermpit in Rottimoldovia at Europe's most easterly tip. It's like Eurovision, but it's not...

Lifelong fanatic and walking Eurovision encyclopaedia, Jemma La Vie is the UK's first ever buoyant Eurowide hope. Plucked from obscurity, her childhood dreams of taking part in a national song contest have come true as she finds herself standing centre stage, with the hopes of her nation on her proud shoulders.

But in the week leading up to the final, a sinister set of events sees contestants dropping down dead before a single vote has even been cast. There's something shady going on and it seems it's not just a few dodgy notes onstage being murdered. Will Jemma actually survive to fly the UK flag at Eurowide on final night or meet her Waterloo? And if she does survive, will there be a douze points in sight?

No Dream Impossible by Nigel May is a fun, camp and murderously saucy whodunnit story based loosely on the greatest telly show on earth. But this isn't Eurovision - this is Eurowide. A must for hardcore Eurofans - dive on in - there's enough celebrities and classic Eurovision mentions to keep even the most obsessive of songfest aficionados squealing. It's a glittery tongue-in-cheek world of dazzling divas, dodgy dance routines and deathly dealings. With added Russian grannies and hamster wheel too, of course...some things will never change, whatever the contest.