All I saw was emergency lights flashing over my head as I tried to remember what had happened. The last thing I remember was walking into my cousin's room, picking up a bottle of pills and taking them all. I vividly remember preparing myself for my death by praying to God, "Dear God, please forgive me and don't let me go to hell!" That was my belief system talking i.e. if you killed yourself, you automatically go to hell. I was mad at God because I felt He did not answer my prayers to keep me from relapsing. I had asked God, "WHY?" If my desire is to serve Him, then what was the problem? Why had He ignored me? "Mingle, socialize she suggest. Wasn't she listening? That's what got me in this mess; wanting to be a part of the popular ones. Come on girl we're just drinking, getting high and having some fun. I followed along, took heed to what they said. Never thought ten years later I'd be pronounced dead. Bought back to life now they say God has a reason, I wish he would explain it to me, all I see is treason. THE END."