Over the course of thirty years, William Kotzwinkle has solidified his reputation as a versatile and enormously imaginative storyteller. After a bestselling foray into children's books with the beloved Walter the Farting Dog series, he now offers a rip-roaring ride through the future of the universe, his first adult novel since The Bear Went Over the Mountain. Deep in the bowels of Junk Moon, the finest scientists of Planet Immortal are nearing completion of a project that will unlock the secret of immortality, left by the Ancient Aliens before they departed the known world. Project Amphora is run by the Consortium, twelve of the planet's most influential movers and shakers. They aren't the only ones after immortality: Commander Jockey Old-castle, a wise-cracking space pirate, has heard about the Amphora Project from a banished scientist who is convinced it will lead to the end of the world. Oldcastle sets off to find the project with Adrian Link, a timid botanist who wants only to tend to his plants on the Agricultural Plain, yet Oldcastle finds himself trying to unravel a strange mystery: It seems the Amphora Project is turning the citizens of Planet Immortal into crystal. As time runs out, it is up to Oldcastle and Link--and Link's exotic, unlikely love interest--to stop their mysterious extra-dimensional enemy before their world is lost forever. Hilarious, wildly inventive, and featuring a fantastical cast of mutants, quasi-human robots, intergalactic mercenaries, and two-thousand-year-old immortals, The Amphora Project is a novel that combines elements of science fiction and fantasy and transcends the boundaries of both.