When John was in Basic Training at Fort Knox, Kentucky, his platoon lost a number of enlistees to the rigors of training. Some were injured. Some discovered hidden medical conditions which were brought to the surface by the physical hardships of transitioning from civilian to soldier. But a number walked off to the holding platoon with no laces in their boots-suicidal. John thought they were faking. He judged them as cowards, but in time he'd join their ranks.

John, his experiences in the Army, and his trials with mental illness are loosely based on me, my short enlistment, and my mental health struggles. His story is not a play-by-play of my time in the Army with names and dates altered. Rather, it is inspired by my life. The truth is that my own story just isn't interesting enough to tell. So I've dressed it up into one I hope is a bit more entertaining and revealing. What remains fully honest are the depictions of my ordeal with mental illness.

The Pickled Lenin is not a noble story of war or even of training for war. It isn't even about the Army. The Army is just where it all came to a head. Rather, it's a tale of mental illness, of failure, and of self-betrayal.